Kissaten: Truth in a Tea Shop
by pippin143
Summary: Matsuda tells Sayu the truth about her brother, the truth about what he had to do. The others told him telling her would be cruel, but believing Light's lies…at least he would want to know the truth.


The man in front of her looked nothing like the Matsuda she knew. Sure he looked the same. Same baggy coat, too tight tie, shaggy hair that only her wry comment once got him to get it cut. But his eyes, his once warm eyes, were now hard and distant as they stared into steaming cup in front of him. His soft, bright face looked older, shadows etched permanently around his eyes, his laughing smile always in a tight frown. Something had happened to him.

"When you called, I half expected you to be asking me on a date." Sayu laughed quietly, trying to ease the unnatural tension. Usually Matsuda was a complete goof, bumbling and all, but a good guy. The man in front of her was not him. It was that Kira case. It broke everything it touched. It stole her father and brother in both life and death, killed thousands of others, got her kidnapped and almost shot in the head.

"But I guess that wouldn't of been appropriate, concerning everything that just happened, huh?" She continued, the lilt in her voice faltering. He was still quiet, brown eyes boring into the cup as if he were contemplating drowning himself in the scalding liquid. "Matsuda," she asked. His jaw clenched, lips righting into a thinner line. "You said you had something to tell me—,"

"About Light."

"Yeah. About Light." She echoed. "The police called us after it happened. I know he died when you guys caught Kira, that—that the Kira named Mikami killed him—,"

"No, Sayu." Matsuda said, those hard eyes looking up at hers. They glistened both sadly and hatefully. "Light was Kira."

"And I was the one that shot him," Matsuda forced as he ended the long dark, tale. His voice cracked not from regret but from the pain he knew the heavy, sinister words would cause. "I killed your brother."

Sayu's face dropped, lips parted and eyes bleary as she processed what the man in front of her said. She'd said little throughout the story, either too disturbed or trying to make sense of the horrible truths he laid before her. He explained everything, his voice heavy but earnest, piling facts and piecing the puzzles of the case together. Light had killed thousands of people, both criminal and innocent, including her father and their genius partner L. He tried to kill even more, tried to kill Matsuda and all of his partners, was probably even willing to kill her. Why had the cops lied to her when they called? To protect her and her still grieving mother? As Matsuda said, the truth was going to be broadcasted tomorrow whether the task force wanted it to be or not. The genius boy named Near would see to that. She, along with the rest of the world, would've learned the truth about her brother from a cold, distant TV anchor a million miles away.

But Matsuda told her today. Matsuda told her the truth, even though it stained his hands.

He had found no joy in telling her these things. That light—no, she couldn't use that word—that sparkle in his eyes, the determination to do good and please others, was gone. Only hollowness remained, far off eyes that still held an unsettling sense of duty to the badge. A duty to the world. A duty to her.

"That's not true." She said after a long, painful moment, her face bent over the tea in front of her, brown hair drooping and shrouding parts of her face. His heart fluttered back to life, the fear of delivering the truth finally climaxed and...accepted? Did she truly understand what he had said? He saw a tear glisten down her cheek.

"If what you said about him—about Kira—is true, then you didn't kill my brother." She murmured into the cup. "The man I called brother died a long time ago. I know he only wanted to make the world a better place, but somewhere along the way Light disappeared. Only Kira remained."

"I'm sorry, Sayu." Matsuda said softly, dead eyes dropping to his own, steaming cup. There was nothing else to say. He went to sip the hot liquid before him, uncomfortable and unsure of what to do next as the young woman cried, but the idea of the nourishing and revitalizing drink rushing through his cold body made him sick to his stomach. There was no recovering from the things he'd done. He pushed it away.

"He killed thousands of people." She muttered after a moment, more to herself than to the young cop in front of her.

"Yeah." Matsuda agreed, though the more accurate number was tens of thousands, if one counted all the other 'Kiras' Light employed. But he didn't think correcting the woman was the most tactful move. His lips twitched. Since when did he think of tact?

He brushed the long bangs from his face and glanced back up at her. She was now looking out the window into the rainy streets. Lights flashed on the billboards, bathing the small kissaten and its few, solemn customers in distorted rainbows.

"What happened to Misa?" She asked folding her arms in her lap. Perhaps tea hadn't been the best idea, since neither of them seemed inclined to drink it.

He was about to tell her when the words caught in his mouth. He glanced down again, knowing the truth would just hurt her more. Even though he told her Misa had once been Light's second Kira, Sayu had been almost as fond of the blonde celebrity as he had. Almost.

"She killed herself."

Sayu made a small noise, a sad sound as she stifled the cry the welled within. The broken noise was more painful to Matsuda s ears than any wail she could've mustered.

"They both lied to the world, Sayu, to their friends, to us." He looked at her hard, willing her to look back. "But through all the lies she told, one thing was true: she loved your brother. She couldn't bare living in a world without him."

"She loved Kira." She snapped, looking at him with brown eyes so fierce he flinched, shoulders bumping painfully into the frame of the too small chair. They were Light's eyes. No, he realized, feeling himself relax, they were not Light's eyes. These were softer, brighter, gentle around the edges. Like the Light he once knew.

Or thought he knew.

"Sayu, I'm sorry."

"For what?" She bit, hands gripping an untouched drink. "You keep saying that, but I don't know what you're apologizing for. For killing a crazed sociopath or my loss?"

"I don't know." Matsuda whispered, his throat aching. He brought the cooled tea to his quivering lips. He had been a cop for years, but never once had he killed someone. Never once had he even fired a gun at someone. But when Light was finally revealed as Kira, when he realized all the years he wasted working for the man they all despised, the man that killed tens-of thousands, the man that killed his friends, the man that was trying to kill them in that very moment—

He snapped. The others told him he reacted, that he was being a good cop. But Matsuda knew the truth. He had snapped. He shot Light to death out of anger and hate, out of fear. He did not regret it but it haunted him every moment. The sound and kick of the gun, Light's cackling laughs turning into screams, the spray of blood speckling his face—

"I really don't know."

Sayu sighed, a shaky sound from a fragile body. "Thank you, Matsuda, for telling me the truth."

She was trying to be strong.

He needed to be strong too.


End file.
